Worry

Right now my Mom is down having an MRI, which most likely will be the last of the big tests for now.

Yesterday, we got the results from the PET scan, and it showed the cancer has spread. It is in her bones, ribs, spine, hips, tailbone, and in her lymph nodes.

The MRI is to check to see if the cancer is in her brain. Apparently, the PET scan doesn’t always show the brain in full detail. After dealing with my Aunt’s brain cancer I think this has all of us very worried.

This just all sucks. So much. I can’t believe that this is happening.

I am worried about my Mom, but she has been in pretty good spirits, all things considered. My Dad, on the otherhand is completely shutting down from everyone but my Mom. He is a man of few words, but he is saying very, very little.

I can’t eat. I can’t sleep, and have had a headache for a week. I called my doctor for sleep meds yesterday, and I was still up all night.

Mea is worried about me, about her Nana, and I just don’t think she understands at all. Last night, we were laying in bed and she said, “I am worried about Nana, Momma.”

It just breaks my heart.

All of it. I can’t make this go away. I wish to God, I could.

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6 Comments on “Worry”

  1. brandeewine says:

    I am more sorry than I can say. I can’t imagine the world of hurt that you all are in, and the struggle of trying to maintain some semblance of normal for Mea. Please know that strangers across the web are sending their love to you and your family. I am one of those strangers.

    • Kelly says:

      Thank you so much Brandy. I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful it has been to have words of encouragement sent to me, and knowing that their are people out there thinking of us. This week has been the worst hell I have ever been through. Knowing there are people thinking of me, or notes of love are the things getting me through each day.

  2. KimN says:

    I know there isn’t anything I can say but I’m sorry. I’m thinking of you and your family.

  3. Charlotte says:

    Oh Kelly, I wish there was something I could do for you. Just know that you, your mum and your family are in popping into my mind at all times through the day.

    Sending love and tell your mum there is a nutty woman thousands of miles away thinking of her, while digging the car out of the snow, feeding thirty plus guinea pigs and yelling at the children “No more bloddy Christmas Carols!!!! It’s January!!!”

    xxxxx

    • Kelly says:

      Thank you for the giggle. I have told Mea that she needs to learn a Valentine’s Day song. One more jingle bell & they will need to cart me away to the looney bin. 🙂


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